"Ya Know What Really Grinds My Gears"
An area for me to vent my opinions and views about current and past issues and events, with the idea taken from Family Guy. I will also include reviews.

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Sunday, 17 August 2014


WE arrived at Boomtown on Wednesday evening, thanks to Stevie sorting us free crew tickets, and after trying to put up Stesmes big tent without poles, set up camp in the usual place and went to explore. The new pirate ship area looked incredible

Thursday began by laying the colourful parachute out to block space for our arriving friends and pottering about until they arrived, although not many of last years crew survived, we still ended up with a large camp of friends. I got to meet up with Siobhan, who I used to work with and her friend, and we watched Ed Solo in the Hidden Woods and explored the maze.

The Wailers kicked us off on a sunny and weed-filled Lions Den set, we headed in our big group to see our favourites Molotov Jukebox at Town Centre, then to Stevie's set at the new nearby Wild West area, which was so fun and we partied for two hours avoiding the rain. We headed over to the Job Centre, run by Ashton, where Laurie worked and raved to Squire of Gothos, then bimbled about at camp and me Ellen Heels and Jasu watched Shaggy at Lions Den, he played all of the classics, but was still shit as expected.

Saturday involved Electric swing circus, Dunkelbunt, a lot of Lions den, then I headed off with Davina and Jimmmy and Neil to see Altern8. Here I bumped in to an old uni friend, it was lovely seeing Jack and has been too long. At Jimmy and Davinas tent I heard the story that their campmate had his entire tent knicked?!
I met back up with the Brighton crew and absolutely had it to Koan Sound with Jonah especially. Tipper followed and we stayed the rest of the night at Arcadia for an awesome set from Aphrodite. The only downer of the festival was that when we came back to camp in the afternoon, someone had put a chair through my beloved tent and left it sticking out of it with two big holes! Luckily my friends always carry gaffer tape, although I was awoken in the night by a storm, so had to go out and re-do it mid-storm which caused chaos with my poncho, oh well! I will miss that tent, over ten years of holidays and festivals, it did me proud.

Sunday had less we wanted to see so we explored and watched Laid Blak at the Hidden Woods. Me, Ellen, Jasu, Laurie, Anna and Kyle watched Cat Empire play at Town Centre, then to Bodyshop for Spongebob Squarewave to close the festival, where Jonah got offered weed that was confiscated by the security guard who was offering it, purely because he was black! We then headed to after party at the Job Centre where Nina revealed an embarassing story and we met up with everyone in the woods before retiring to Maddys tent (as mine was a gonner).

Monday was spent tatting a new tent, double mattress and pump (im sold after sleeping on Stevies all weekend), me and Dave lugged stuff to the car using a tent as a drag bag, found Mikey who had lost everything (including his tent), ate our spoils with Stevie and Natty and slep until a security guard rudely awakened us and told us to leave. We had a lovely Harvester when we got back to Brighton.

Another terrific weekend at Boomtow, full of old and new crew. Free ticket was great and I think it is getting too big and loosing its uniqueness now so maybe that will be it for me and Boomtown, we shall see next year! SO fun though.


Day 1 - The only eventful moment of the trip over to Bangkok was a photo of Daves nipple on an ipad at Heathrow and Hilary and Dave bringing a ridiculous amount of cake that I had to consume before we went through to airside. On the flight, Hilarys neigbour got so drunk the crew made him sit with them and pour coffee. We got a taxi from the airport and set up in a hostel just off of Khao San Road (Rainbow hostel), then went to meet Amy. We hid Dave and i videod our reunion with Amy. We had a little mooch about and took our first tuk tuk, ate really cheap sushi, Dave bought a smaller ear thing as he had managed to overstretch and infect his ear just in time for the trip. We went the wrong way to the Dead Things museum, Dave got refused comics, we all bought banana tshirts and then said goodbye to Amy, who was going ahead of us to Koh Phagnan. In the evening we headed to the Sky Tower, the tallest place to drink in the world. We felt a little underdressed for a swanky establishment, but the views were great and Hilarys skirt blew up in Marilyn Monroe style which was funny. Cocktails were about £13 each! After such a classy evening, we decided to do the opposite, so after a really good steak, and convincing Hilary to go, we took a tuk tuk to a pussy ping pong show, which was not only hilarious, but Hilary got hit with a dildo that came straight out of one of the performers fannies. Not a bad first day.

Day 2 Bangkok - w got up and headed to death museum via motorbike taxi, to find it closed. Instead we explored the market of Wan Chai and went on a boat tour up and down the river. Bought tshirts, ate more sushi and then got on our first night bus down to the island for Amy's birthday and our reunion

Day 3 Koh Phangan
We got off of the bus, on to a minibus, on to a ferry and finally arrived. We met Amy off of the boat and headed to a nice hostel she found in Ban TAi. Ate Thai lunch and we hired scooters. Hilary freaked out a bit so me and Amy shared her on the back instead and DAve was given one having been asked no questions about the fact he had never driven anything before in his life and we whizzed about to along the coast to Haadrin and then went to get Simon. After stopping off at a pharmacy for ritallin(?!), we decided to go to the full moon party, which was actually quite fun and not as busy as usual, many fun antics and Amy burned her bum climbing off the psytrance stage on a lit cigarette and dunked her bum in the sea to help. Hilary and Simon went back out as we retired for the night, so we were fresh for Amy's bday the next day

Day 4 - Leanne came to visit us and we chilled with her for a bit, then drove to the after party and stayed for a while and then drove up to the north of the island where beautiful we found a beautiful beach called Coconut Beach with a swing and bar and was quite deserted and had Thai food. Walked along and got opium and saw a monkey, elephants and a rather lareg pig. This was such a lovely day and Amy seemed to really enjoy herself. The drive back was pretty fun on the straight proper roads.

Day 5 - Me and Dave got up early and bought boat/bus ticket back to Bangkok (plus hte mandatory 7/11 cheese toasty) then met Leanne and Amy and drove to Haadrin and we went swimming in the sea and chilled on the pontoon, diving off. Dave back flopped. One last whizz to use up the fuel and hand the mopeds back. Leanne and Amy went backwards down a hill and crashed. Said our goodbyes and got on the ferry back to the mainland just as it started to rain. Awful bus with wet seat the whole way but slept ok and stayed in outback hostel when we got back to Bangkok with Amy and Dave

Day 6 - We headed for lunch and then to finally conquer the death museum at Siriraj Hospital. This was gruesome, with foetuses in jars, mummified bodies and other gros stuff, it was well good and Dave made a little boy jump. We got a motorbike taxi and nearly lost Dave and then booked flights to Chiang Mai for tomorrow, leaving Amy to explore it on our own for a day before meeting her and going to Pai.

Day 7 - Chiang Mai. After barely getting to the evening flight in time, we found a nice hostel 'Central Guesthouse', located next to a muay thai stadium, and headed to Burger King for breakfast, then took a tuk tuk and really got touristy with elephant trekking, baby elephant feeding, monkey school, tiger kingdom, don suthep with beautiful views and gold, where we ate bugs after the kind vendor and a bloke from Miami gave us some. Met amy and her Aussie mates for dinner at the night bazaar and headed to muay thai for boxing which involved a blindfolded foursome which was hilarious.

Day 8 We headed to Pai on a minibus and met Amii who we adopted for the rest of our time there. Hired bikes for even cheaper. We drove to the Circus School, where Chaz and Hilary had lived previously and checked in to a bamboo hut there. I went straight on the outdoor trampoline and we went in the infinity pool, then headed to a cool waterfall, that we climbed the side of and jumped in, then drove to the canyon and explored that with absolutely no safety. We stopped off at the bizarre Strawberry World for a strawberry shake. Headed back for dinner and night market where I ate really tasty Burmese food, played pool back at the hostel and won lots, played guitar and hung out with people that evening. Amy finally tried out her fire hoop, she is much better than before!

Day 9 - We woke up and had a swim then headed to 'bigs' for breakfast and had a milk chocolate ice drink. Met Amii and Tys and after Amii fell off of her moped, he drove and we headed to a waterfall that you can slide down with Billie and an American dude. Watching Dave lose control and fly down the big bit at the bottom was hilarious. Got over 100km/h on the road back and then packed and chilled at circus school before saying goodbyes and returning bikes and getting bus. After a quick flight, we finally got to experience Khao San road at its gritty busiest and retired in a room fit for a prison inmate before our flight home.

What a trip! Big love to Amy and the Brighton crew of Dave, Hilary, Simon, Leanne and me that made our tour of Thailand so epic!

Tuesday, 1 July 2014

Glastonbury 2014

After setting off at an ungodly hour and picking up two liftshare.com randoms named Danica and Josh, we set off for Glastonbury. We were in and parked by 9am and I rushed to put my tent up, met Nigora briefly and walked briskly to my work training at the cinema, pretty much the opposite side of the festival to my staff campsite, Paines Ground. I made it with 9 minutes to spare and helped myself to biscuits and squash. On my way to training I bumped in to my first random encounter, Owen from my uni course. The training went on for nearly 3 hours and considering I was running on less than two hours sleep and a 3.5 hour car drive I managed to stay awake and alert for all of it. As soon as I was done I arranged to meet Hilary at the Pyramid stage and lay in the sun while she came to find me. After her pouncing on me and us saying our hellos we wandered back to her site in the travellers field and I said hi to Ellen, Anna, Kyle and the rest. We grabbed a load of her stuff and headed to mine so I could finish unpacking and we could eat. Here I met some of our campsite crew, friends of Nigs' who all seemed nice. Went to block 9 with Ellen and Annas brother Milo and his missus. We headed to Rum shack in the common with the twins, Jonah, Jack, Becky and then the stone circle.

josh dragon kigu, 2 bears fail, met Nigs etc
went out with camp mates, bandstand, secret metronomy gig williams green, carnival collective smallworld, duncan disorderly
sold first lot of nos

On Friday I got up in the sunshine and headed to meet Hilary, where we enjoyed Blondie at the Other Stage. Considering how old she is they were really good, and in their 40th year as a band that is saying something! We met people for De La Soul at the Pyramid stage and then bimbled around and went to the Glade stage for a bit. There was a pretty epic storm at this point and we sheltered in the Boomtown pods near Arcadia until it passed, welly weather was here. My first shift was at 9pm, so I headed over there, and after getting a little lost, I found our muster tent and helped myself to a selection of nutella, jam, peanut butter and honey toast and charged my phone for a bit. We started an hour late, due to, as predicted, dis-organisation of managers and headed to Arcadia, where we caught the opening show. At this point we realised we were 'response stewards' and me and a girl called Ivena from my camp got moved to between the horrific sounds of Skrillex on the Other Stage and the equally horrific danc area of Silver Hayes. The girl kicked up a fuss so her boyfriend George came down instead and we worked the shift together, it was busy but fun. Highlights from my first EVER night shift include a couple of cheeky kisses, hugs, a feather and thank you from some half naked high bloke and we also met the lovely Maria, who came up to us saying she had some of a random girls water, but thinks there was something in it. She was coming up on MDMA for the first ever time, infact it was her first ever drug, we looked after her a bit and chatted and then she disappeared off in to the dance area. We were stood down at about 3.45am and I was happy to be off early so I headed back to the tent and then went to see the sunrise at Stone Circle with some friends.

Saturday was mainly sunny, with a couple of showers, luckily as I had my second shift from 1-8pm. We started late as usual and just wandered around The Common while they found us somewhere that needed us. We came across a tent that was teaching Latin dancing, so we joined in and a senior steward introduced herself to us. We headed back to Unfairground and began patrolling around Shangri La in the sun for the day. I chatted to Thea and took pictures and we were relieved early at 7pm, ready for Metallica at 9pm. I met up with Ellen, Holly and Millie and we raved away to Jack Black in the mud at the Pyramid. We headed to watch the Pixies and sit Millie down, where I bumped into Alice and Callum and I headed off to watch a bit of Metallica. I met them again and we headed to what was my favourite night of the festival. We held hands and thanks to Ellen we tore through the crowd to the front of the John Peel stage for MGMT. We rocked out to them and then went to see Fatboy Slim at Wow and then headed to Arcadia for Disclosure which involved more Holly and Ellen pushing and us dragging a fucked guy out of the crowd, with Ellen getting punched in the face in the process. We headed to Stone Circle to finish off the best night of this years Glasto, ive never really met Holly before, but I had so much fun with these two, big love!

The sun returned properly for Sunday and I headed down to see the Subways at Other Stage and then popped over to see a hilarious set by Casette boy and DJ Rubbish at Glade. I met up with Hilary, Amy and Mark to pick up Hilary's massive wanker phone from a dude who took a picture of himself as the screensaver, jokes. He wasnt interested in Hilary trying to give him bubbles or a pound coin though, its almost as if bubbles arent currency... we met almost everyone (Ellen, Holly, Millie, the twins, Laura, Rob and his mate, Kyle and more) for Dolly Parton, which was great and possibly the most packed ive ever seen the Pyramid stage (we were by the tree far back and it was still rammed). She got someone from Bon Jovi on, probably mimed and sang 'I will always love you' so it was fun. We are split off and me and Josh got some samosas (my first and only expenditure of the festival) and bumped in to Laurie and Ruby and watched Gentlemans Dub Club at Gully stage. We met back up with Hilary, Mark and co and we saw Bob Marley's band 'The Wailers' at West Holt, then I headed to work. After an easy shift that started an hour late and finished three hours early with a guy who was sweet but really dumb and Patrick playing games and eating free croissants and drinking lots of free drinks we headed to Arcadia and caught the end of Virus takeover, meeting all of our work/campsite mates. We headed to Shangri La and I actually used my staff queue jump. I headed into the Salon Carousel briefly before meeting them at the bar and then we headed to Hell, which by coincidence had an amazing lineup where we saw the Correspondents and then Reeps one! I went to the Stone circle but bumped into Toby and we headed to meet Nina, who turned out to be with Josh, Rose, Jonah, Laura and Becca and me and her and Jonah headed to the Stone Circle for one last sunrise to meet Hilary, Holly, Mark, Kyle, Jasmin and everyone else. The work mates came and met us and then me Becca and Patrick retired.

Monday began with Hilary coming to meet me and we took her stuff to Marks broken bell tent, then I packed up and went to the car to save worrying about it later. Miles and I walked around tatting in fields and I found a great selection of stuff. Then me, Nigs and Miles (after a lot of faffing) met Danica, crammed in the car and left site at 7pmish.

What a weekend! I spent £5, made lots, got a free ticket, had easy work, lots of fun times and music....take me back!


Monday, 26 May 2014

Gypsy Disco to say goodbye to Chiaki and Small world to kick off the summer!

Chiaki Takahshi, the wanted fugitive for the double murder of some kids somewhere in Japan a couple of years ago has finally been aprehended and returned to her country, but not before she tooookkk errr jerrrrrrbs.

But yes, Chiakis visa has expired, so we all went to Gypsy Disco to commiserate. It turned out to be a stonker, possibly my favourite to date, which considering I preferred the blind tiger ones is really saying something. There were so many boobs, the decor and atmosphere was really special and Dunken Disorderly and Billy Rowan were fine entertainment indeed!. Nina and Esme had dressed up as nearly naked golden cherubs, Tora and Sally had actually come out and much merriment was had until they kicked us all out at 5ish.

The next morning I packed my bag and waited for my lift to Small world. Its weird having to rely on other people for lifts and this is the first time I have really missed having a car, but i blagged a lift there and back with the legend that is Esme's boyfriend Rob and we were off!

Day 1 involved a lovely drive seeing lambs, a double rainbow and lots of rural plsces that other Rob wanted to stop in, then operating my tent after giving it a year off last festival season while I occupied others peoples tents instead. Once we were set off we went exploring (not hard or laborious considering its only about two fields big!) and met up with lots of lovely people from the previous year. We watched some bands, had some catchups and me and Rob commentsted on a fire show, sports style, much to the hilarity of most people within earshot. I saw gypsie and princess perform fire at the Castle Stage (my home last year, it has evolved with a better bar and quiet area), bimbled around tents and chilled with everyone. I also bumped in to Aleko briefly and got decorated in glitter by Ruby. That night I was cold for large parts and it took until the morning to realise I had never actually been in there on my own before...and had no ground sheet as Rob pointed out.

Day two was spent enjoying the glorious sunshine and eating all manner of free food I could get my hands on, which included a free staff meal (vege wrap), van cooked cous cous vegetable epic meal, vege sandwich and cheesey chips among others. Nina and Esme stole peoples roasts by pretending to work for Home Grown cafe and clesring plates so we could eat the delicious leftovers. A truly cunning trick. One of the days highlights was Chaz absolutely on one in the van and also dressed as a tranny, pom poms and all..shortly followed by Rob and Josh, sporting fetching outfits from Esme's junk sale find earlier in the day and Beccas last clean festie outfit. The evening was spent in Chaz's van, drinking hot chocolate and bimbling about once more. I went to bed, nervous about being so cold again, bumped in to Esme, Nina and Rob around the castle stage campfire and borrowed their spare sleeping bag, which did the trick and I was much warmer all night.

Day three involved lots more free food, hula hoops, another van cooked meal (mashed potatoes with fried vegetables), crisps, spaghetti hoops, bacon, chocolate etc) and as I woke to sunshine, but with the forecast predicting rain, I packed my tent down and headed to Hilary at Larrys Lounge and then Chazs van where we chilled and ate, then went up to the Small World stage. We found Jonah (and the twins found some amazing nicknaks to take home) and i stole some of Nina and Jonahs chips and we headed home. The first festival of the season was over, a roaring success and my first ever sober one. I had such a great time again and am now well up for summer! Bring on not paying for any of it :)